Jefferson Middle School Patriots...not my favorite part of my youth. I had just moved to Fort Wayne and was starting the 6th grade. I had made a few friends but nothing like the clan of friends I had in Muncie. Middle school is already an awkward age as it is. Your body so irregular along with an odd maturity level. I was definitely immature for middle school. Maybe it was being the oldest or living in a small town, but I was an odd ball at my new school.
I remember my block class with Mr. Cress and other odd ball 6th graders. I swear our block had the oddest crew, so naturally I fit in: Greg Johnson, Dustin Austin, Scott Bradtmiller, Terry Granning, Heather Herron, Jimmy Sterling, Jennifer Augustyn, Jenny Potter, Colleen Van-something, Emily Clausen, Heather Chambers, Stacey Barbknecht, sorry if I forgot anyone else. It reminds me of your freshman year of college in the dorms, somehow being bonded with one another even now. Your first real change in puberty and existence. The only thing I remember about his class is writing plays and acting them out. Scott and Greg always wrote rap songs and totally cracked us up.
Jennifer Augustyn talked me into joining the reserve cheerleading team which is wear I met Karen Cross. We were inseparable. We cheered at games together, practiced together, ate lunch together, and went roller skating together. She was really smart and so funny. We were passionate about cheerleading and tried out for the Varsity team . Neither of us made it that year and we wallowed in our disappointment together. We still had the reserve squad though. We cheered, we laughed, we were fast friends....odd balls united. Determined we tried out for the Varsity squad again and this time Karen made it, but I didn't. I was more than disappointed, I was absolutely heart broken. I'd never wanted anything more.
Instead of being happy for my best friend, I went straight to the coach and made her show me the scores. Karen's scores were higher. I put on my game-face and tried to be happy for my friend, but jealousy got the better of me and eventually I couldn't handle her success and my failure.
In high school, I finally made the cheer squad and Karen ended up being on the pom pom squad, another rivalry. There was always that animosity on my part although I finally had my dream role on the cheer team, but obviously I still didn't have a handle on the maturity part yet.
I saw her at our 10 year reunion and still didn't have the courage to talk to her. I remember thinking how good she looked, successful, still pretty and funny. She was the one person that night that I wished I would have talked to.
A couple of years ago, a friend of mine sent me her obituary. I stared at it in disbelief for the longest time. Tears running down my face I read and reread to make sure that I was reading the page correctly. Karen had passed away in her sleep of heart problems....alone. I'll never forget that feeling of remorse. Remorse for my immaturity. Remorse for my ego. Remorse that she had passed away without me telling her how much I appreciated her during those tough times of middle school.
Finally I get to the awesomeness of Facebook. It is a chance to see old school comrads who have matured and come into their own having families of their own. I now can appreciate everyone's successes. I love hearing how everyone is doing, spending their time, and the common ground we all share at this age. I also can now repair any lost or damaged friendships from the past and know that I have made my peace. Thank you founders of Facebook for the connections and peace-of-a-finally-maturing-mind! Thank you Karen for your friendship and I'll never forget you.
I remember my block class with Mr. Cress and other odd ball 6th graders. I swear our block had the oddest crew, so naturally I fit in: Greg Johnson, Dustin Austin, Scott Bradtmiller, Terry Granning, Heather Herron, Jimmy Sterling, Jennifer Augustyn, Jenny Potter, Colleen Van-something, Emily Clausen, Heather Chambers, Stacey Barbknecht, sorry if I forgot anyone else. It reminds me of your freshman year of college in the dorms, somehow being bonded with one another even now. Your first real change in puberty and existence. The only thing I remember about his class is writing plays and acting them out. Scott and Greg always wrote rap songs and totally cracked us up.
Jennifer Augustyn talked me into joining the reserve cheerleading team which is wear I met Karen Cross. We were inseparable. We cheered at games together, practiced together, ate lunch together, and went roller skating together. She was really smart and so funny. We were passionate about cheerleading and tried out for the Varsity team . Neither of us made it that year and we wallowed in our disappointment together. We still had the reserve squad though. We cheered, we laughed, we were fast friends....odd balls united. Determined we tried out for the Varsity squad again and this time Karen made it, but I didn't. I was more than disappointed, I was absolutely heart broken. I'd never wanted anything more.
Instead of being happy for my best friend, I went straight to the coach and made her show me the scores. Karen's scores were higher. I put on my game-face and tried to be happy for my friend, but jealousy got the better of me and eventually I couldn't handle her success and my failure.
In high school, I finally made the cheer squad and Karen ended up being on the pom pom squad, another rivalry. There was always that animosity on my part although I finally had my dream role on the cheer team, but obviously I still didn't have a handle on the maturity part yet.
I saw her at our 10 year reunion and still didn't have the courage to talk to her. I remember thinking how good she looked, successful, still pretty and funny. She was the one person that night that I wished I would have talked to.
A couple of years ago, a friend of mine sent me her obituary. I stared at it in disbelief for the longest time. Tears running down my face I read and reread to make sure that I was reading the page correctly. Karen had passed away in her sleep of heart problems....alone. I'll never forget that feeling of remorse. Remorse for my immaturity. Remorse for my ego. Remorse that she had passed away without me telling her how much I appreciated her during those tough times of middle school.
Finally I get to the awesomeness of Facebook. It is a chance to see old school comrads who have matured and come into their own having families of their own. I now can appreciate everyone's successes. I love hearing how everyone is doing, spending their time, and the common ground we all share at this age. I also can now repair any lost or damaged friendships from the past and know that I have made my peace. Thank you founders of Facebook for the connections and peace-of-a-finally-maturing-mind! Thank you Karen for your friendship and I'll never forget you.
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